Step 1: Prepare the Frosted Glass Rim
First, ensure your martini glasses are chilling in the freezer. In a small bowl, combine the softened cream cheese, heavy cream, confectioners’ sugar, and vanilla extract. Whisk vigorously until completely smooth and spreadable, like a thin frosting. Place your red velvet cake crumbs (and optional sprinkles) on a separate small plate. Take a chilled martini glass. Using your offset spatula or knife, carefully spread a thin, even layer of the cream cheese mixture around the outer edge of the glass rim. Immediately, while the frosting is still wet, dip and roll the frosted rim into the cake crumbs to create a beautiful, textured garnish. Set the prepared glasses aside.

Step 2: Build the Cocktail in the Shaker
Fill your cocktail shaker ¾ full with fresh, high-quality ice. To the shaker, add the vanilla vodka, chocolate liqueur, raspberry liqueur, white crème de cacao, and half-and-half. This is the critical moment: add the red food coloring gel. Start with ¾ teaspoon. Remember, you can always add more, but you can’t take it away. The raspberry liqueur will provide a natural red hue, but the gel gives it that classic, dramatic “red velvet” color.

Step 3: The Vigorous Shake
Securely fasten the lid on your shaker. Shake with enthusiasm and purpose for a full 15-20 seconds. This is non-negotiable. You are not just chilling the drink; you are fully integrating the dairy with the spirits, diluting the mixture to a pleasant drinking strength, and creating a wonderfully frothy, velvety texture. The shaker should feel ice-cold in your hands.

Step 4: Strain and Serve
Remove your prepared martini glasses from the freezer. Using your Hawthorne strainer (and for an ultra-smooth texture, a fine-mesh strainer held over the glass), strain the brilliantly red cocktail into the glasses. The goal is to leave the ice and any small shards behind, ensuring a perfectly smooth sip.

Step 5: The Final Garnish
For the ultimate finish, you have options. You can simply let the stunning red drink speak for itself against the crumb rim. For added drama, you can dollop a small amount of the remaining cream cheese frosting on top. Alternatively, grate a tiny amount of white chocolate over the surface, or place a single, perfect red raspberry on the rim.

Step 6: Presentation and Immediate Enjoyment
Serve the martinis immediately on a cocktail napkin. The contrast of the icy glass, the creamy rim, and the rich red liquid is the final visual delight. Instruct your guests to sip slowly, allowing the complex flavors to unfold.

Step 7: The Signature Sip
The experience is complete upon tasting. The first contact is the sweet, tangy crumb rim, followed by the cool, silky-smooth body of the drink. The flavors should harmonize: vanilla forward, followed by chocolate, a hint of berry tartness, and a rich, creamy finish that echoes cream cheese frosting perfectly.